The Dillons commented through a spokesperson, “In celebration of President Trump’s massive and astonishing election victory as the American Putin, his imperial reign, and his relentless pursuit of destroying democracy, we concluded that we should assist his tyranny by dumbing down our articles for his, and our, constituency with misinformation, innuendo, and out right lies. Our subscribers aren’t that bright anyway: 81% of Evangelical Christians voted for him … again. How stupid is that?”

Kyle Mann, Editor-in-Chief had few words for the decision going forward, “Well, they basically sign my paycheck, so what can I do? Maybe I’ll key their Subarus or spike their lattes with Jim Beam.”